Your circle
Parents
Friends
Friends
Parents of victims, whether they be adolescents or adults, may be the first to acknowledge and report the stalking behavior (Logan; Mullen). It may also be important to inform parents as they can become secondary victims. However, one of the most vital reasons to inform parents of stalking, is they can become an important avenue for resources and support.
Friends
Friends
Friends
Friends can also be an important avenue for tangible and intangible resources and support; however, they too can become secondary victims and should be warned of potential dangers. Some friends may be disinterested in continued communication, due to their fear or discomfort.
Children
Friends
Siblings & Extended family
Adult children may be able to provide resources and support not unlike other friends and family members. However, young children are at higher risk for becoming secondary victims, being used as pawn especially in intimate partner stalking relationships.
Siblings & Extended family
Siblings & Extended family
Siblings & Extended family
Some family members Logan, et al., (2006) found, may identify a concerning behavior in the stalker or the victim, that causes them to reach out, and provide support. However, research has found that family members, particularly siblings and cousins, who tried to assist their victim-family member could become secondary-victims (Logan, et al., 2006; Gross, 2012; Mullen, 2009.).
Coworkers
Siblings & Extended family
Intimate Partners
Logan, et al. (2006) found that coworkers can provide security and emotional support.
Intimate Partners
Siblings & Extended family
Intimate Partners
Becoming involved with a new intimate partner can be difficult when one is navigating a stalker (Logan, et al. 2006). However, when a victim already has an intimate partner, there are different challenges (Gross, 2012), such as coordinating and communicating how to navigate this new intruder. One suggestion has been to schedule regular check-ins to evaluate any new updates, such as contacts, i.e. letters, calls, etc.
Hey listen, you can't stay here, I can't stand this.
Logan, et al., 2006, p. 208-209
Barriers and Reactions
Parents of juvenile & adult stalking victims
Parents of juvenile and adult stalking victims may become secondary victims, whether or not they are living in the home. They can even be the first to recognize the stalking (Logan, et al., 2006). They may also experience trauma from the experiences as well as associated financial and work-related effects. It is important to work together on communication regarding the stalking events to understand best course of action for all the related institutions.
Family can be supportive
Logan, et al. (2006) found among partner-stalking victims, that family reactions ranged from helpful and concerned to angry and placing blame. This has been echoed among those who have experienced acquaintance stalking experiences as well (Gross, 2012).
Adult-children
Adult children may check-in regularly, or be worried about their parents' safety. However, other children may have more strained relationships with their parents, this may be due to the stalking incidents themselves or related concerns, such as having to move. Additional concerns may be due to issues around disrupted parenting, as victims may have to prioritize safety concerns or may have had mental or physical health challenges. Being in regular contact, when possible, and implementing a safety plan is advised.
isolation
Stalking victims may experience isolation which may impact family, friends, and other contacts. This may cause conflict or precede it. This may also cause family and others in the victim's circle to worry.
Friends
While Logan, et al. (2006) found that most partner-stalking victims who tell their friends found them to be extremely helpful, some may choose not to tell them because they don't want to burden them, they also found them to be judgmental, and they minimized the situation.
Coworkers
A little over half of the partner-stalking victims did not tell their coworkers about their stalking experiences, most who did disclose found their coworkers supportive and helpful (Logan, et al., 2006). Often, coworkers were already aware, as the stalking occurred at the workplace, Logan, et al., (2006) also argues that it is important for coworkers to be informed as they too can become secondary victims. However, many partner-stalking victims found it embarrassing, and were concerned about the impact to their careers and reputation.
Bystander Stalking Log
What is a Bystander Stalking Log?
Bystanders who want to support those around the stalking victim they know can best do that by filling out the Bystander Stalking Log, whether you report the offense to the authorities or not. This is because,this information can be used to aid the victim in their furture reporting pprocess as well as their safety planning needs. After you have received a Neighborhood stalking Watch you will likely receive either the link to this log or a printed version of this log. There are two basic elements to this log.
Contact Information
This information is optional, but preferred. Event if the victim has it, it is helpful if the victim plans to make a formal report to any authority figure, including but not limited to law enforment &/pr the courts. However, you can request that you not be a named witness.
Description of Encounter
This section describes the encounter, notating the duration of the event(s), if there was another person present or sent on behalf of the stalker (proxy-stalker), & if there was any evidence. Notate any reports filed with authority figures. You can also identify any concerns you have.
Components & Instructions
Date, Time, Duration, & Location
Date, Time, Duration, & Location
Date, Time, Duration, & Location
- Include the date event occurred, not when you are filling out the form.
- The start & end time of event(s) & duration. Duration can notate a number of similar events in a discrete period, i.e. 10 phone calls in 5 minutes.
- You will also include your location and the stalker's location if they are different, i.e. the "stalker called me from their home."
Stalker or Proxy Stalker
Date, Time, Duration, & Location
Date, Time, Duration, & Location
You may be aware of a proxy-stalker or you may have learned about one from the Neighborhood Stalking Watch alert. Either way, if you see or are contacted by the victim's stalker or proxy-stalker document this event & clearly specify who committed the act in this section. If you know their name, indicate this. If not, include a brief description.
Vehicle &/or Weapon
Date, Time, Duration, & Location
Vehicle &/or Weapon
- If a vehicle is seen by you include the license plate or another brief description.
- If any weapon is observed or in anyway referenced clearly state what the weapon was, clarify whether you saw it or it was said.
Evidence
Formal Resources
Vehicle &/or Weapon
- If you have evidence of the event, clearly state what it is, i.e. pictures, video footage, phone logs, emails, property damage etc.
- Add where the evidence is. If there are photos or call logs that can be attached to the this bystander-log, please do so for organizational purposes. If it will be sent later indicate that.
Formal Resources
Formal Resources
Formal Resources
- Formal resources include but are not limited to, law enforcement, criminal justice systems, HR professionals, supervisors, counselors at schools, security guards, and more. This might be anyone with authority who could intervene &/or take an additional report, and might implement action.
- If you have made a report include their ID &/or badge number.
- Also include their contact information.
Witness
Formal Resources
Formal Resources
If there are other witnesses to the event, please include their information in this section. Include their contact information for follow-up purposes. Depending on the situation, you may include that they do not want to be named in an official report, or allow the victim to speak with them directly, allowing them to determine this together.
Concerns About Safety
Concerns About Safety
Concerns About Safety
You may use this section to include context regarding your 'fear' response or other 'emotional distress.' You may also include concerns about the safety of your home, neighborhood, workplace, or family due to the stalker's behavior. This is also a good place to note changes in your environment you or others have made due to the stalking, i.e. locked workplace doors, heightened security, or anxiety.
Thoughts/Responses
Concerns About Safety
Concerns About Safety
This is a place to add personal notes about the stalking situation &/or how it is or is not being addressed. You may elaborate on concerns you have about the individual incident or thoughts for the stalking generally.
Great! peachy! everything's fine! you don't tell anybody because listening to you becomes a burden. I guess it's hard because there's nothing they can do.
Gross, 2012, p. 140
